Black Tie and Flip Flops

Have you ever done a Mud Run before? Well this past Saturday I ran in the OC Mud Run and it was more fun than I could have ever imagined. It was only a 5K - but we hopped over walls, crawled through mud pits, and crossed through 2 lagoons...needless to say, I was covered head to toe in mud. I highly recommend this run to anyone who doesn't mind getting down and dirty. I mean, I was spitting up mud for a good hour after the run - I even had a huge wad of mud in my right eye, causing me to run a good portion of it with my right eye shut...

Saturday was a eventful day, after the mud run I went to an amazing event called "Pipeline To A Cure," put on by PacSun to raise funds and increase global awareness of the relationship between surfing and people who have Cystic Fibrosis. Basically, researchers have found that young cystic fibrosis patients who surf have healthier lungs than those who don't surf.
If you ever get an opportunity to attend this event, take it. It's amazing. The event starts with a silent auction, then you have a wonderful dinner (steak?..yes please), after din din there is a live action (I couldn't afford anything because everything goes for $5,000+), then Shiny Toy Guns played and people danced the night away. Overall it's a pretty epic event.
Please watch this video of Emily - one of the speakers at the event who is battling a life with Cystic Fibrosis. It will educate you a little more on what this cause is all about.




For more information on this event please go to www.pipelinetoacure.org

Much Love,
Granola Girl

Still looking

Lately I've been so confused when it comes to guys. I can't figure them out. It's actually really bugging me because once I think something is going somewhere - it doesn't and it ends and that's that.
Maybe it's me? Maybe it's the fact that I don't want to be hurt again? No one wants to get hurt, but it always happens. I just really want to find the person who it doesn't happen with. I get so freaked out when it comes to meeting guys, I look at every guy as though they have a girlfriend...why is that you ask? Because they usually do.
I dated a guy for more that 7 years (yes you read correctly, I said SEVEN) who hurt me over and over again, EVERYONE including his friends and even his sister told me to end things with him because he didn't deserve me. I knew he didn't, but I loved this guy and love is blind right? RIGHT. He cheated on me throughout our relationship and I forgive people very easily, so I always forgave him, but I never forgot and I especially never forgot how he made me feel.
I always wondered when things would end, when would I get enough guts to break up with him? Well, it finally happened when his sister pulled me aside and actually asked me, "What the fuck are you doing with him? You need to be with someone who treats you way better than he does." Coming from a family member, that's huge. After my convo with her I walked over to him and read a text message that he was reading on his phone. The text was from a girl and it said "Where are you? I wish you were here." I will never forget those words. I asked who the text was from and all he could do was look at me like a deer in the head lights, I shoved him and ran to my car. I couldn't even cry. All I kept thinking was, "It's over, it's finally over."
Do you think he chased me when I ran to my car? No. Did he try to call me? No.
I did text him when I got home, my text said "7 years and you had to go and do this to me" and he responded with "I'm over you anyways." I will never forget that text.
Weirdly within 2 weeks (with a lot of prayer), I was COMPLETELY over it. Some girls dwell on a breakup and cry and think "woe is me." I couldn't. I didn't want to talk to anyone at the time of this because it was something I had to personally overcome myself. To this day my parents don't even know how it ended.
I forgive him for everything he put me through. I pray for him and his family all the time. I feel bad for him really, it takes a sorry person to put someone through what he put me through. I don't care to ever talk to him or see him again. This all happened a year and a half ago, right after it happened I was able to talk to him and I even saw him once or twice. But now as time goes on, he is the last person who I ever want to see or even speak to. Everything that he put me through made me not able to trust anyone. I have heard so many stories where guys cheat on there girlfriends, I have seen so many married men cheat on their wifes. This constantly makes me think, is there hope? Are there respectable guys out there like my dad who respect women and relationships? I have yet to find one.

Much Love - Granola Girl

SOS

It's been a week since my last post and things with the Tattoo Artist are.....just going. Not sure if they are going well but they're aren't really going bad which I guess is good. The thing that sucks is I'm getting some mixed signal which I HATE (who doesn't.) I saw him on Monday when I went to his tattoo shop to pick up my sunglasses that I left at his house on the 4th of July, which, by the way, was his suggestion to leave them there, not my sly idea so that I get to see him again! When I walked into the shop he was the only one there and he was working on a drawing for a tattoo he was going to do. There was a weird vibe in the air, and I'm not sure what it was. It just felt sort of awkward. I thought maybe he was over me or something because the night of the 4th, I had told him I didn't want him to spend the night. I didn't do it in a mean way, but just told him that I need to feel totally comfortable around a person before I spend the night with them. And by spending the night I mean actually sleeping in the same bed. I don't know, I've always been like that, it's a control thing I think. He had seemed ok with it but now, in the shop, I thought maybe he was not into it anymore. I was on my way to lay out at the beach and needless to say the rest of the afternoon sucked because that was all I could think about. I was all set to give up and not contact him again and see if he would contact me, when of course I said, "Screw it, I have nothing to lose." So I texted him, "If you're not doing anything tonight, do you want to come over and watch a movie or something?" His response? "Maybe." Maybe? MAYBE? What the hell kind of response is that?! I was so annoyed I threw down my phone and tried to get in the frame of mind that I was desperately trying to attain, "I don't care." My new approach to guys wasn't really working out so well. A few hours later I get a text from him saying he's turning in early because he's going surfing in the morning before work. Whatever. So basically right then and there I knew it was probably over. I barely slept that night because of all the stuff running through my head. Tuesday was a crappy day and I was just looking forward to Wednesday because I was going out with my friend Amy.
Wednesday night, Amy and I get to Longboards and I look around to see if the Tattoo Artist was there. It was exactly one week ago that night where we had met there. Yes I am getting all worked up over a guy I have known a week, I'm sure everyone has done it at one point or another. So the alcohol starts flowing, and then we're off to Typhoon Saloon, the usual Wednesday night routine. During the band, I look at my phone and see that the Tattoo Artist has texted me, asking what I was up to and he had just gotten to Longboards. I was ecstatic. I told Amy and she said she wanted to go back to Longboards because she wanted to meet him. We also had a bunch of friends there so I thought, why the hell not, let's see what's happening with the Tattoo Artist. I was super nervous.
Longboards was a lot of fun, it was totally normal with the Tattoo Artist, and my hope in this thing with him was restored. I tried to act aloof at first to show him I hadn't been obsessing for the past three days, but of course the minute we started talking I was all smiles. I went back to his place after and we hung out for a while. I texted him on Friday to see if he wanted to hang out and he called me and said he did. This is where the mixed signals came in again. He was off on Friday and had been out drinking and doing whatever all day, and when we were on the phone he was insinuating that he wanted to spend the night, and after a bit of hesitation I said yes, as long as we were up by 10am because my parents were coming down. I told him again, "I know I'm weird about it, but I just need to feel comfortable around someone." He said he hoped I felt comfortable around him. Anyways he comes over, we hang out and "watch a movie" (heh heh) and then after a bit he said, "Ok well I should probably go soon." What?! I was kind of confused and said, "Buuuuttt....I thought you were spending the night?" Hm. So that was how the night ended....never really got an explanation and I'm choosing not to read much into it. The next day I was going on a pub crawl, and we were starting at Longboards. The Tattoo Artist was working that day and said he might be able to stop in if he could get a break, and to text him when we got there. I texted him but we got there a lot later than we had planned so I assumed he was working because I didn't hear back until about 45 minutes later when he called me.
So all in all, still confused. I'm using "He's Just Not That Into You" as a guide. "He's just not that into you if he's not calling you." (He is calling. Not every day but still...) "He's just not that into you if he's not having sex with you/can'tdoesn't touch you etc etc." (Check....haven't done the deed but he definitely can't keep his hands off me.) I'm hoping this week things get a little clearer.
-------->Groupie

Almost Paradise

The 4th of July weekend has been a really good one so far...I'll start exactly where my last post left off. Much to my surprise, the Tattoo Artist called me on Thursday just like he said he would. We made plans to go to a movie that night. My landlord was in town doing repairs to our place to I was supposed to call him when I was finished with her. We wanted to see Public Enemy with Johnny Depp, but there weren't any good times by the time my landlord had gone, so he asked if I wanted to come to his place and watch a movie instead. He only lives a few blocks from me, which is nice, so I rode my beach cruiser over. We watched Knocked Up, and talked the whole way through it. He was completely different then I thought, but in a good way. When I first met him, he seemed a bit cocky, which wasn't a bad thing because I've always liked guys like that. As we talked, I found out he was just a normal guy, and really fun and super cool. We both went to SDSU and were the same year, but he lived in the dorms across campus, and majored in Art, which is why I probably had never met him, or at least don't remember meeting him. After the movie, he offered to ride his bike with me back to my place, and once we got there, he came in and we watched tv for awhile. Nothing really happened except for an innocent goodnight kiss, but it was really nice, and I was super stoked because he asked me to go to a movie the next night.
That next day, Friday, he was working until seven so he called me when he got off and we went to the movies. By the way, Public Enemy is a great and Johnny Depp (LOVE him) was spectacular! After the movie, one of his friends called and said they were at Longboards, and he asked if I wanted to go. We parked at his house and walked to the bar, since he only lives about two blocks away. The bar was a lot of fun and I could definitely feel my to him attraction growing, plus I was feeling more and more comfortable with him. I could tell he felt the same. We went back to his place after and hung out until late night. The next day was the 4th of July, and we made plans to keep in touch and hopefully hang out.
That afternoon, my roommate Bonnie and I went to a park just up the street from our place, because since you can't drink at the beach anymore, a lot of people go to the park where you can drink until eight. It was so much fun, there were a lot of people there, everyone was barbecuing and hanging out, drinking. I met up with Tresa and Sarah and a bunch of their friends. The Tattoo Artist came awhile later with some of his friends and we hung out the whole time. Bonnie and I decided to go back to our place for a bit, chill, then head over to party on the bay. I told the Tattoo Artist I was leaving, he said he was going to stay and would call me later. I wanted him to come but wasn't going to stress about it. Luckily, after I got home, he called me and said he wanted to come hang out with me and go to the party. That made my day that much better. He came over, we had a couple of beers, then we went to the bay party. It was a lot of fun as well, very chill and casual. I was excited to see the fireworks, and I was hoping the Tattoo Artist would stick around to watch them with me. I was really happy when he did, and we watched them together...kinda felt like we were a couple. After the fireworks, Bonnie went home and the Tattoo Artist and I went over to Tresa's house just to say hi, then made our way over to my friend Nicole's friend Laura's house to have a few drinks with them. They were going out so we hung out there for about 30 minutes then went back to my place. He didn't spend the night, but we did hang out until the wee hours.
I've been trying out my new approach to guys, but unfortunately, I can already feel myself getting more involved with the Tattoo Artist. It's only been a few days, but it's been really fun hanging out with him and I hope he feels the same way about me. Tresa says that in this case, he is doing everything to show me that he's into me, including hanging out with me almost all day instead of his friends. I've been in this position before, where everything seems really cool, but it can change in an instant, so I'm just trying to not think about it too much because that'll drive me crazy!------>Groupie

A Little Piece of Heaven

It's no secret among my friends that I've always liked guys with tattoos. And I'm not talking a couple random tattoos here and there... I'm talking full sleeves, chest, the whole nine yards. I'm not really sure when this all started...most likely back in early high school when I started listening to my favorite band AFI. I have an obsession (non-creepy) with the lead singer, Davey Havok, which is where my nickname Holly Havok comes from...although a lot of people think that's my actual last name. He's the most gorgeous man I've ever seen and he's covered in tattoos. His tattoos are beautiful, really colorful and totally original. I hate those generic ones, like any tribal tattoo, asian characters, or armbands. Gross. These kinds of tattoos have no imagination at all! I also don't like head tattoos, neck, weird areas like that. My love of tattooed dudes does not apply to white trash or old men. I'm talking about hot guys - rockstars, muscians, those kind of guys. I myself don't actually have any tattoos, mainly because they are way too permanent and I can't think of anything that would be special enough to have on my body forever. My mom thinks guys with tattoos are "going nowhere" in life, but she wouldn't be surprised if I brought someone home with tattoos. When I tell my parents about a new guy, their first questions is: "Does he have any tattoos?" The last few guys I've dated haven't had tattoos, much to my disappointment, but they didn't last long anyways.
Last night, I went out with Tresa and her roommate Sarah. Every Wednesday I go to Typhoon Saloon because my favorite 80's cover band, Metal Skool, played there every week. They're no longer there but they still have 80's bands so I still go. We started off at Longboards, a few blocks up from Typhoon. I was at the back of the bar talking to the bartenders when I noticed this guy sitting around the corner. He looked really familiar, and we kept making eye contact. He was really cute. Just as I looked over again I see him shaking hands with someone and....jackpot!!! He had two full sleeves. I asked my friend Nate, the bartender, who he was and he told me he was a tattoo artist at the tattoo place next door. Nate knows what kind of guys I like, and he told me that he had put in a good word with the Tattoo Artist. Thanks Nate! The Tattoo Artist ended up migrating over to my side of the bar until he was standing right next to me, then introduced himself. Throughout our conversation, I found out that he used to live about four houses down from me right on the corner of my block! Right then I totally remembered him, he used to walk his dog shirtless and I would stare at him until he was out of sight. He went to go find his friends, and my friends and I decided to make our way to Typhoon. He came back over, I told him I was leaving, and he asked for my number. He texted me later that night and said it was nice to meet me, and he couldn't wait to hang out. I've heard all this before so I'm not exactly holding my breath. And then of course there's my revelation about never pursuing a guy again so I'm just going to see what happens. But it made me wonder why I've denied my natural instinct to gravitate towards hot guys with cool tattoos...those are the guys who really get my motor running.------->Groupie

Cuts Like a Knife

Update: The whole thing with the Aussie is O-V-E-R. Without going into too much detail because it's a bit painful, we had a little chat and that was it. It happened on Friday afternoon and I was bummed for a bit but then I remembered I was going out that night and it was going to be a blast no matter what! I went out with my friend Tresa and her roommates, and met up with some others. We went to one of my favorite bars in Pacific Beach, Firehouse. I love Firehouse because not only is it right on the beach, it's a little classier than most of the bars in PB, which keeps out the tourists and rif raf. But the thing I like most about Firehouse is everyone is on the prowl! Let's just say going there is a good self-esteem boost. There tons of good looking guys who will hit on you, therefore giving your self-confidence a nice little push. We then hopped next door to another one of my favorite bars, PB Shore Club. We then walked over to Typhoon Saloon, the Tavern, then of course the end of the night tradition of late night Mexican food. The night was a blast, and completely took my mind off of the Aussie. It was EXACTLY what I needed and I have my friends and my wonderful bartenders to thank for that!
After the whole thing with the Aussie, I started thinking about the way I get when I meet a guy I like. I am never clingy, but I like to take matters into my own hands. I like to initiate hanging out and getting together in the beginning. I'm not sure why, but I've always been this way. I guess I like being in control? As I mentioned in the previous post, in the book "He's Just Not That Into You," they tell you not to call the guys, not to make plans, he should be the one to do it. I was iffy about this. But now, I have made an executive decision in my life. I am NEVER going to initiate things with a guy again!! Yes, you heard me right. NEVER! I have a few friends who make a point of not caring about these guys they meet, and things seem to work out for them. It seems like the key to getting a guy is to act like you don't give a crap if he calls you or not. At first I wasn't sure if I could do it because I'm a pretty emotional person and like to act on my feelings. Not emotional in a crazy, psycho way, but in the way where if I like someone, I'm ready to give 100%.
I decided to test this out on Saturday night. I went with my friends Nicole and Laura to PB Shore Club (again) and met up with a bunch of dudes we know. I met a guy, I'll call him Surfer Boy, who was friends with one of the guys. He was really funny and cute and seemed to be paying a lot, if not all, of his attention to me. Like any other girl, of course I like when attention is lavished on me by a cute guy. But, since I'd had my revelation the day before, I decided to try my new approach to guys. I was nice to Surfer Boy but not overly nice. I joked around with him and made some saracastic (not bitchy) comments. He seemed more interested by the minute. I excused myself a few times to "go to the bathroom" and then started talking to other people. Much to my surprise, Surfer Boy always seemed to end up right there at my side. Towards the end of the night, he asked for my number which I gave to him after pretending to think it over. I told him we were leaving, said bye, then proceeded to go into the other room and talk to some friends. I just wanted to see if he would follow. A few minutes later there he was. By then I actually was getting ready to leave, and he gave me another looong hug and said bye. I went outside to wait for the other girls, and when my friend Lisa came down, she said "Oh and Surfer Boy said 'Tell your friend Holly I said bye.'" The next day, he had already texted me a few times, saying it was nice to meet me, could I make room in my schedule to hang out, etc etc. Maybe this was the approach I should have been using with guys all along! -------------> Groupie

Airports and Bagels

Every Friday morning is "Bagel Friday" at Billabong - this means we all go into the kitchen and eat bagels and chat about life (or if you don't want a bagel you go anyways to chat...). WELL as I was chatting this morning with my friend Kristen the other girls at the table started making fun of her since she LOVES airports (I had no idea)...
I mean who loves Airports? Well guess what!? I DO! I LOVE everything about them...from the crowds to the Jet fuel smell to the baggage check, I love it ALL! I am so fascinated by airplanes, from a Boeing-767 to a Airbus A300, they amaze me. I love when you fly through clouds and can't see a thing through the windows and I love when there is turbulence on the plane. Sounds strange I KNOW, but it's true and I am SO happy to find someone who shares the same love of airports and airplanes that I do.
I think the main reason I like them so much is because everyone traveling has a different story. Either they're on there way to a funeral or going to a wedding or maybe there flying just to get away - anyway you look at it they have a destination and a story. I am one of those people who will strike up conversation with a random person and tell them my life story (not like it's that interesting, but oh well) and I love to hear other peoples lives as well.
You don't even understand how excited I am about this! After Kristen and I got over our initial shock (we were speachless bc we both thought we were the only ones with this problem) we talked about our love for Airports for an hour this morning, I'm even bringing my mom's flight attendant yearbook to work on Monday =)


Much Love,
Granola Girl